ew. I made a sandwich, and the cheese reminded me of her vagina
i feel as if last night was a right of passage. to officially be an adult you must have a drunken one night stand with a co-worker and go to work the next day still drunk wearing yesterday's clothes...
yea, the bartender wouldn't serve you because you kept asking for "a slice of beer"
failed my one goal of the day: wake up before 2 pm.
we bought a duck. we're keeping him in our dorm room. don't ever try to tell me you've had a better freshman year than me.
Down at Ground Zero right now. So many people here. It's the most patriotic game of grabass Ive ever seen.
Does saving a line for myself for the morning so I don't seem hungover at work count as responsibility?
Adult decisions.
I'm the brains and you're the boobs of this operation.
Just did it in a room with glowing stars to Peter Gabriel's down to earth on shrooms. This is like god
I just remember going to take a piss and looking down on the floor and thinking "that looks comfortable" and then I was out.
The fire department told the police that I was inside the burning building trying to pee in the rest of the electrical Outlets. Booyaka.
I'm jealous that you can use my boobs as pillows & I can't.
The guy who was interviewing me asked if I had coke on my pants. You win this time Las Vegas
Gay?
German.
Pity.
Here's a concept though: eating pasta while getting laid
Randomize
