He just told me his cousin just died and I look like her. Reconsidering the sex.
just survived the first fart of the relationship.
You were so hammed, you asked your buddy in Economics to plot a demand curve for Parmesan Cheese.
she said she'd blow me if I bought one of her sorority raffle tickets. Goddamn it's gettin easy
someone put bongwater in my humidifier again THIS NEEDS TO STOP
Take your time, they're doing body shots off the dog.
I just noticed she took the "toys" too. That's how you know when it's really over.
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
just an fyi, false alarm on the whole ghonnorea thing. you're safe.
I've found myself wondering why I WASN'T naked before, but I generally always know why I am naked. Except now. WHY THE FUCK ARE WE ALL NAKED
woke up in the back seat of my car with a naked chick and my brother tapping on the window. yup, what a night
I'm a dude in a dress, who came to a party with Holly GoLightly, got hit on by Bambi's mom, and wants to do terrible things to Link. Halloween is weird
Observations from Vegas: #1. Strippers pasties pose a choking hazard. #2. Best. Heimlich. Ever.
Yeah,I'm just gonna keep fucking other guys til this idiot figures out he loves me.
Some Romanian guy at work just told me "you come my house, we drink beer and you come make fuck with my sister"
If he's not there watching you go for it. It's been a while bro.
Randomize
