The only thing I can remember you saying is "I won't cut pizza like this when I'm older."
life is sad when you just turned 21 and youre doing late night rogaine runs...
I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
mom just asked if we are going to need more kaluha as she pulls 5 out of the cupboard. this xmas might kill me
Getting too drunk for the hot dog vendor to serve me is possibly a sign of an alcohol problem. I threw up in the sewer grates next to his stand
he fell down during beer pong and the chick told him to rub the sand out of his pussy and suck it up. i am in love
No The bastards made me buy a new one, They don't cover water damage an apparently they consider salsa water damage
It was relaxing until your penis crawled in my ear.
I just almost caught my floor on fire, then decided I could put it out with my knuckles! So I'm doing good!
I'm getting a car wash man. I am go get a car wash high.
That's why my New Years resolution was no more blondes. They're all bad news
Can you explain to me why I showed my boobs to the firemen to get free beer?
Stop making fun of my hookups!
Stop getting hookups that I can make fun of!
its Niagara falls. its like international waters. You can get away with anything there
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