I just had to sit down with an 11 year old who threatened to dick slap a girl.
you always know who the new freshman are on fb because theyre always wearing prom dresses
Overheard: "his girlfriend fucks him with the lights off. It's not serious."
lmfao. well really. it's not love if you cringe at the site of his anus.
There's nothing more uncomfortable than drifting into sexual fantasies on a roadtrip and realizing you have a boner with three other dudes in the car.
so the time management class we had to take for work seems to be working. I just beat off instead of waiting for gf to get home bc it fit my schedule better.
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
sorry for allegedly lighting the beer pong balls of fire
His fucking was so lame I considered painting my nails during...
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
I think I ruined his life by managing to get his initiation nickname for his frat to be "Whiskey Dick" but I still wish herpes on him and his fugly new girlfriend.
Was I asleep on the ride home?
Yea, then when I tried to hold your head up on a turn, you round house punched me in the face.
You sprinted into the side of a parked car
Just realized my relationship wasn't even Facebook official and I'd already cheated on him. 'Shitty girlfriend' is an understatement.
We were having a serious discussion about Blue's Clues and I just kept thinking, 'you've seen me naked'.
Hello my rib-scented angel!
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