you texted me last night and told me you couldn't find the toilet.
That explains the puddle of pee in my closet.
And when I say "complete whore" I mean I could possibly make a shameful profit by wearing this.
What are the odds of finding the one hot Australian dude with erecile dysfunction?
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
It's not my fault you have a job and can't get drunk on Tuesday's. Don't take your frustrations out on me!
So we reenacted men's olympic skeet shooting using roman candles and flattened beer cans. That's all
What I do when I'm blackout drunk is none of my business.
how many times have i told you.. they dont like when you laugh during sex
after the fucking you spent twenty minutes vomiting naked and shaking your dick at my roommates. luckily, i don't remember that, or i'd have to be really insulted.
I just did shots of fireball with my dad in a car wash. How's your pregaming going?
do I look like a person who has full control of their limbs and existence on this plane of reality
dont you DARE use my tequila influenced words against me
So many questions so I’ll prioritize. How did I survive last night?
I don’t know what language he speaks but I know my boobs will translate just fine
I’m looking forward to few days of international relations
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
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