I still think their baby is ugly. I also still think it's yours.
i literally forgot his name and just started calling him "waffles"
thats the last time i clean cum out of my retainer.
do you think they make "congratulations unfit mother" greeting cards?
or abortion recommendation cards.
In case you were wondering, my scare crow is wearing your outfit from last night.
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
I woke up naked dangling by my feet from the balcony over his foyer. He's officially my new favorite booty call.
It was drunk tag. I was Alice in wonderland chasing a ballerina who was chasing Lance Armstrong who had needles in his arms.
Okay we're getting vodka and coming
Okay. Joe has my machete attached to his belt
At the drs she looked at my back saw your scratch marks and asked "does your back itch a lot?"
I was mid hand job and stopped me because he wanted to "connect" which meant putting his thumb in between my eyebrows and a hand over my heart and closing our eyes...
The smell of mosquito spray completely ruined the sex.
I'm not the one who gave a guy that lives next door to my grandmother a blowjob in a pub bathroom in Ireland, you have no room to judge.
my throat is bruised, my back is scarred, my vagina feels like it's going to fall off.. you're like godzilla. you destroy everything.
So I guess I walked across campus with "pat my ass" in sharpie on my forehead.
You deserve it, you colossal cock block.
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