her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
im shaking like a drug addict and i almost just shat my pants when i sneezed...no more patron for me
you decided to have a spaghetti fight but then you got greedy and decided to eat it all.
Fact: my bamboo plant has grown 2 & 1/2 inches since I started watering it with bong water
He took out the lube and started calling it fuck fluid
I was actually high enough at that point that I was just casually following your glowing footsteps like in Avatar while we ran from the cops.
on the way to the hospital you kept asking if we could stop at the bar first. then you proceeded to puke out the window
Can you please tell him to stop calling me ma'am? I'm starting to remember what it's like to have self respect
You used the best tools you had at your disposal.
Slutty, slutty tools.
Found a grenade pin. Still no Dave.
Just got my stitches out.. Now I can give a proper hand job
Apparently "I licked it so now it's mine" doesn't apply to people
I ate a hotdog off the ground last night.
Also topless tea is a thing that happens in our apartment. Ready yourself.
It’s like I’m living in some alternate wet dream universe right now
Randomize
