I know right? mind you this is the same woman who told me when I was 12 that oral sex just meant talking dirty
Just shaved my legs with toilet water in a walgreens bathroom. I am so classy.
pretend to be my girlfriend and sign me up for tool academy
whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
from now on when you get up to pee in the middle of the night, check to see if im sleeping in your parking lot.
i do.
I don't think so, think I've only met him once, the night I lost my teeth
Note to self not a good idea to try and make out with a girl when she's crying over her boyfriend
do you think semen can infect my impacted wisdom tooth
My neighbor is on the his front porch in a robe dipping a popsicle into what appears to be vodka. I want to be his son.
I am both excited and frightened by the fact that this much everclear is legal here. Best vacation ever.
I am drunk please bring Taco Bell and sex
Never mind I found pizza just bring sex
I feel like we should build an island for girls that have committed atrocious numbers of unforgivable sins. We'll call it 'whore island' after the anchorman fashion.
Accidentally searched up "pizza pasties" instead of "pizza pastries". I was not disappointed.
Friday is the holy day of drinking. Thou shalt observe the Sabbath. It's in the bible. Look it up bitch.
-367$ and a torn scrotum.. Panama wins
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