Did you ever notice that cashews look like fetuses?
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
the table of underagers at this wedding were seated 10ft from the open bar. currently 30 open containers on the table for 5 people. dinner hasn't even been served yet.
you handed the cop a condom last night and said "it's all about protect and serve right?"
Yeah. she rolled up to the party on a unicycle then peed in the bushes. TA of the year.
If i ever have a kid with an outie i'm giving it up for adoption
This inappropriate post strip club text brought to you by Cheetah of Palm Beach and vodka. Blowjob in the champagne room and the clap for the low low price of your paycheck.
So burnt out. Like weed hangover. And someone just fell through the ceiling outside of my class. How's your morning going?
I am almost positive I asked to milk her when I was saying my goodbyes.
You were asking her how her mother would feel if y'all dated, etc. And I was yelling at you your girlfriends name over and over again in between gags and sobs.
You are under a naked attack watch for the whole weekend. Shelter in place.
I think when Jesus turned water into wine it was a sign that we should get drunk off Sangria tonight. Do it for Jesus. He died for your sins.
he bit THROUGH my nipple
plus side, no need to pay for a piercing.
you must be at least a level 5 friend to unlock my sexual orientation
all i'm saying is don't blame me if your purses are filled with whoppers
are we talking malt balls or BK?
Randomize
