you're like a bully in the Christmas story
She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
Note to self: when drunk try to remember that ctrl, alt and dance doesnt exist on a keyboard.
Me + Nice restaurant + Copious amounts of booze + obscene comments to couples = valentine's day plans
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
Do you remember giving me altiods and wishing me good luck on the walk home?
let's just skip the pleasantries and go back to my place for pizza and casual sex
I can't even tell you how many rave sticks I tore apart with my teeth last night.
I would fuck him In a heartbeat, an obese child running up stairs with an irregular heartbeat, heartbeat.
I feel that it is my duty to the human race to invent a colon squeegy
cops woke me up on the sidewalk and asked where my shoes are.. fuck if i know, im sleeping on the sidewalk! actually i didnt say that, i just cried until they gave me a ride home.
I don't trust a bar IN TENNESSEE that doesn't have Jack Daniels.
I cannot belive our party caught on fire
My throat is burning
Thats because you proceeded to drink the salsa because you thought it was alcohol...dumbass
My Boss was giving porn recommendations. I think I'm scarred for life.
Randomize
