My ass is singing 4 different tunes right about now... Taco Bell was a bad idea!
I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
birth control should be required to get into college
those are the first brownies ive had since i was 13 that didnt have weed in them.
grab my backpack.....its in the fridge
She said she couldn't sleep with a guy who had blood stains on his ceiling. I tried to explain it wasn't my blood, but she still left :(
People are yelling about how much they want you here.
I'm going to change, vomit up my mexican food to save the trouble later, and then come meet you. Thrilled.
If it carries over into the weekend I would be glad to nurse your vagina back to health.
When I found her she was drinking wine out of a plastic bag in a bathroom stall, staring at herself in the mirror and crying hysterically. Cabo does things to a person...
My boss just called me for legal advice. What has my life become?
Half way through sex he whispered in my ear, " your the second best I've ever had" then proceeded to tell me to sit on his face.
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
Wow. Last night.
I knew you were shit blasted when you called me your "sunflower queen"
Life hack: hotbox while in the car wash. It'll change your life.
Poor guy. Tried so hard to get out of the friend zone. I had to make out with someone in front of him to put him in his place.
Randomize
