Literal conversation "you are ________ ____. you facebook friended me"
My Vagina smells like Nemo again.
Remember that one time i smeared period blood on your face?
I hate you
my dad is going to jail this weekend
where are we going to get our weed from?
So I'm probably the first guy in history to tap out of a blowjob.
I don't care if there's a party or not. I just want to be half naked in a cape with a never-ending supply of alcohol within arm's length at all times. Make it happen.
She's drinking vodka out of a windex bottle. She is spraying it in her mouth and at strangers.
Good morning sunshine. Care to hear the riveting tale of Michelle and the Almost Great Night That Ended In An Early Morning of Karma Emptying It's Bowels On Her Guilty Shoulders?
Of course I understand. Thou shalt never turn down a free meal or drink. It's one of the commandments of being a girl.
Yeah except my drinking partners aka my parents went to sleep Cuz ya know, they're old.
Dude I bought tampons with cardboard applicators by accident and now I know my vagina hates the 1960s
Two of my dealers just made friends at this party. Do you think one will be pissed if I buy from the other or should I just go 50/50?
Like, I just want a guy who will drop what he's doing to come touch my vagina whenever I want and to leave me the hell alone whenever I want. Is that SO MUCH TO ASK??
I need you to get the emergency bail money out if the stuffed panda and go to the police station tot bail me out. I should be there in 20 minutes.
Intelligence report: the hot sister called you gross, the sweet sister says you're dumb, and the smart sister says all the other men she knows would have to die for her to hook up with you.
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