Mario Lopez is the poor mans Ryan Seacrest
six shots in, he is hammered and doing stretches before each shot
the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
So the girl I hooked up with last night pretended to be from Comcast when my girlfriend stopped by this morning. She even made a fake appointment to check her internet. Best hookup ever.
The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
Well, I woke up with a text message from my cab driver that said "I hope you're alive," so that's a good indicator of how I was acting last night.
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
well i fell out of the hot tub and tumbled down the hill and kicked a plant in the process.
come find me. Outside the bar we were just in waving my syringe in the air
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
it's my birthday, i should be around people i want to fuck
He tried to tip me with his police badge...
and you didn't accept WHY?!
We were just getting out tux's at men's warehouse he pulled both of the fitting room girls. I dont think he should be getting married
But seriously, I love you and you are a good person and I'll get you some ecstasy
How did your walk of shame include a trip to Walmart and how did you bump into the cop that arrested you last night there?
Randomize
