4:25 am: I want you here. Ugh.
If she sees it and stops hooking up w/ me then you owe me
good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
Because the last time i saw or spoke to him he came all over me in a hammock.
i just sent him like 8 different sexts and he texted me back about how good the hummus is that i left in his fridge.
My little brother just suggested we drink the rest of the vodka because it's raining. My job is complete.
You better fuck one or both of those bitches and bring me pictures that will make me uncomfortable
I can do at least one of those things.
Her fucking playlist had randy newman on it. It was like woody was watching the whole time.
Someone just walked into the bar with a pillow
I don't know whether to judge him or give him a high five
I told him that I wanted his dick like I wanted a jumbo hot dog. There something wrong with my priorities
I'm using the Malibu pitcher you stole from the bar to make pancakes this morning. It's actually working really well.
After she got off the phone with her mom she sprinted down the block screaming "I'M SO GOOD AT BEING A HUMAN!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
SOOOOOO I just attempted to go to the gym, hungover. Ended up throwing up in the bathroom. I hope people think I'm just working out really hard
We can have bacon on the roof while tanning
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