these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
Bonnaroo quote of the day: "why the fuck am i pregnant?!?!" - exclaimed loudly by random hippie.
I'm buying this stripper a house, I don't care what her name is.
the only thing i remember last nigh is talking to some chick for thirty minutes about cheese.
How does one fall all the way up a flight of stairs? Its hard on me knowing that the survival of our species depends on me not reproducing.
If I come back covered in mud topless and banging on your door, please have a warm towel ready for me
i lost his rear view mirror, your phone charger, and my lesbian virginity. 21 isn't shaping up too well so far.
YOUR BALLS CAME OUT. DONT CALL ME A SHITSHOW.
Oh. My. God. Dad smoked a bowl. He's been playing cards...I just told a story and when I was done, he got really close to my face and very seriously asked me if he had cheese in his beard. I'm about to die.
I woke up naked on my couch playing a video game I thought I had dreamed about... oh yeah, and someone cut my hair.
I told her I wanted to use him as a chew toy while simultaneously licking his face.
Did she tell him? And if so, was he cool with it? If yes, date him, date the fuck outta him.
She's been with the dude for a week saying she's in love. Yeah so am I. I just opened this beer 5 minutes ago and I LOVE IT ALREADY.
WHAT IS HAPPENING
A FLOCK OF DICKS IS MIGRATING TOWARDS US.
Okay, new plan. Get drunk, eat breadsticks. It's going to be great.
Just letting you know that I just spent 11 dollars on a car wash... Because you had sex in my car.
Randomize
