Last night was a blur. All I remember is jizzing in the squeegee bucket at a gas station.
The look on the soccer mom's face was PRICELESS.
one more question, do you know why i woke up with 5 pounds of quarters, nickels and dimes in my pocket?
he asked me if i had ever jacked off high and then referred to it as a "man-to-man question"
I'm like a warm blanket that has sex with you
Your excuse of not making us Mac and cheese was that you couldn't find 6 cups of water...
From what I remember, he had one ball. But it was cute
In case you come back to the room and i'm not here, yes there's a cup filled with gravy in the microwave. Just take it out if you need to heat something.
he might be the rich husband I pretend to love for the rest of my life!!!!
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion
OMG BTW REMEMBER HOW HE ORDERED PIZZA THAT ONE TIME WE HOOKED UP. APPARENTLY HE WAS HANDING IT OUT TO PEOPLE WHO LIVE IN MY BUILDING AS HE WAS LEAVING
Do you have any puffy paint? I want to put "fiesta muthafuckas" on my sombrero but its too much to bedazzle.
Also, your girlfriend apologized to me about yesterday. That was nice of the cunt.
I don't know if I'm more disturbed by the fact that you hooked up with a dude with one arm, or that "hook up with a dude with one arm" was on your bucket list.
He’s over 6 feet has amazing posture and went to Harvard and has an awesome job and a great dick and loves Jesus and is an organ donor
Is this the guy you have listed as free food in your phone
Noooo he’s listed as free food #5
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