somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
I wish real life had facebook tags so i could figure out who all these people are
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
becoming an adult blows. i don't think its possible for me to wake up for anything that doesn't involve kegs and eggs or half naked bums passed out in our yard.
you'll never guess what i found when i got home...
a cake, in the toilet
The tornado sirens were going off and everyone just ran to the liquor store. .
They only knew me as the lesbian that passed out in a bathtub. That's not what you call friendship.
And at least you didn't have a dinner of Ranch Pringles and Double Stuff Oreos. I forgot that part of being single.
We were talking about threesomes when she went to say who she would have as her third. She did not get to finish her sentence because her bf already said my name.My sheer presence destroys relationships.
Can you come get Dustin he's putting taco bell fire sauce on cigarettes trying to light them again.
if it doesnt flame it aint got game is a bad drinking motto eyebrow-wise.
eyebrows regrow, your balls dont
Are you still free tonight?
Oh shit I kinda forgot and took acid
i want to platonically make out with them, platonically. in the back of this minivan
I would really like it if you guys got out of my bush
I woke up to the sound of her peeing at the end of the bed at 4am.
Randomize
