everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
He soundtracked our prebreakup sex, our breakup, and out postbreakup sex. At least he's dedicated.
remember that response paper i wrote naked, at 745am still drunk with a naked dude in my bed? yeah, totally got an a- on that. and he loved my insight.
That combination of brocholi bacon eggs cheese ketchup and pasta would have been a revaltion had you not thrown up on the stove and put out the pilot light
He sent me a picture of him bent over showing his asshole with the caption "vwahla".... No more tequila for either of you
I figure hes like disneyworld. You know youre only going once or twice in life. Might as well have fun and ride the rides
Nope. He totaled my car then moved back to Louisiana to work things out with baby mama. I sure know how to pick em
You'd think the dry cleaners next door would be less judgmental for as much business as my theme parties bring them.
I mean, the sex was awesome last weekend, but I didn't even imagine I'd reached ovarian rupture status.
Haha sweet. I'm being the Mad Hatter. I'll be drinking out of a tea cup all night. Or at least until I inevitably lose it, break it, or use it as a weapon.
Someone messaged me on POF and wished me a Happy International Women's Day. Why do I even bother anymore?
If my life today were a movie the subtitle would be: Revenge of the Beer Shits
So, Kevin dropping me off at urgent care. Seems my tampon slipped out of reach. Even after he tried to get it out with some kitchen tongs.
He jerked off some dude with a slice of Wonder Bread.
The sports guy?
Yeah. They claimed the bread made it hetero
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