we have officially lost it.
and then I told him he looked like the Gordon's Fisherman dude. I don't think he thought it was funny, because he 'forgot' to pay for my beer.
Arguably, the best part was cockblocking those squirrels.
Man when i saw they were the only ones hard core grinding to the Cha Cha slide against the wall, I knew they were gonna have sex tonight.
If you're wondering about the pepper everywhere its for the ants and it was my doings. They hate pepper. You're welcome.
After a certain point, you just want to make it work. Prove to yourself that you're smarter than the vibrator.
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
People are stripping in McDonalds. Do I join?
YES.
You forget how awesome toilet paper is until you have to wipe your ass with a piece of notebook paper...
what a fun peer-pressure-filled weekend
I've got enough liquor to do one of two things on Friday: 1.) Drink myself into a coma or 2.) lay in bed a drunk and cry lonely mess. Happy Valentines Day.
I really have to stop going to the movies high. Spending $10 to not know what the fuck is going on is starting to get pricey.
How'd your date go last night?
Well I blacked out at 1:30 and woke up naked in not-my-date's bed with an uneaten Jimmy John's sandwich.
We havent had power for three days. What else is there to do besides drink and fuck? I thought that was obvious.
I am drunk shake weighting right now.
Randomize
