he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
all you did was keep googling "what time is it" over and over and over
Nothing says "This dudes gotta go" better than a boner on your back waking you @ 5 in the morning
also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
apparently it was the return of drunk burrito sex.
I know. They started calling me The Incident. The hotel maids, that is.
I found a fried uncrustable on the table from last night.
I doubt were getting our security deposit back... the toilet just fell off the wall
I'm trying not to drink. I may fall down if I move. This is bad. I had everclear before the bar. Oh no. Oh no. Breathe. Breathe. Breathe.
Drunk at ten am watching Californication re runs. Being divorced rules.
Definitely just found that pen in the microwave. What the fuck.
Being drunk is way better. Seriously, I just licked your brother to make sure my spit was actually real.
Well get back to your date and give him the ceremonial 1am handy and text me when your done.
I told him we can’t see each other today because absence makes the heart grow fonder but mostly I just need to rest my vag
...this is why fuck buddies should be only for grownups.
Randomize
