yeah for some reason your penis didn't fit in my mouth the other day
Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
The panties match.
I'll be right there.
Tonights dinner consisted of washing down my plan b pill with a bottle of wine and toast. College is turning my life around
Delete that photo of me. My ass looks WAY to good it in to be on Facebook for everyone to see. You gotta earn that shit.
So I've been thinking about this, and I've decided my bed is magic. Every time I change the sheets, a new boy is in my bed. I own the Sheets of Dreams-if I change them, they will come.
Just ran into a client at a sex shop. The meeting tomorrow is going to be really awkward as we both try not to picture each other using vibrators or role play costumes.
He started going down on me while we were watching Land Before Time.
Incredible.
he literally referred to his penis as the alaskan bull worm from spongebob. when can we get married
As I read your response saying I need a tan before I can become a go-go dancer, a girl cane up to work and gave me 10 coupons for 100 days of tanning for a dollar.
This is fate. You were destined to be a stripper.
You very well can't change your mind now. It would upset the natural flow of life.
I just found your ripped underwear on my chandelier. Care to explain?
I wish I could take a screenshot of how things literally look from my eyeballs right now
She passed out in my baby sister's room so we put her in one of my grandma's diapers, put a pacifier in her mouth, put her in my sister's crib and took pictures.
Dear sober self, your keys are on the table in front of you the only way your typing this is with autocorrect goodnight love you
Just got done being naked and Mooning the cops. I'm still alive. Let's drink.
Randomize
