mid puke you looked up at me and asked if it was your turn to sing
He came in my eye, I lost my earring and all of his friends saw me topless. Happy New Year to you as well.
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
Found a Safeway Deli Sandwich in the shower this morning... Perhaps the 9th beer was unnecessary.
You should try cooking mac & cheese naked sometime. It's quite relaxing.
BRING ME THE PLAN B. ILL GIVE YOU A FREE WATER BOTTLE AND A BUMPER STICKER AND SOME BACON BITS
Yeah, you're right, it's a conspiracy against you. This small tight knit group of people who don't like assholes.
I think that means you're growing up...when your coke nail becomes your opening mail nail.
It's like a double rainbow in both sides of the sky mixed with The Jeffersons.
I woke up with a bagel in my mouth, still ate it. Free breakfast
Dude come to her party. Someone just took a body shot of rubbing alcohol
I need you there. I need someone to glance at when other people inevitably annoy me.
BTW, does Anne know that we used the lipstick she is currently wearing to was used to write the word "ASS" on my ass cheeks last night?
And now I'm taking a break sitting on the bathroom floor thanking god that people who eat at subway are either too classy to piss on the floor, or are still relatively sober enough to not piss on the floor before 5pm.
You know your Halloween costume is slutty when you have to shave your pubes to wear it.
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