I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
best thing about halloween? there are pumpkins to puke in EVERYWHERE!
The second he texted me with "*dry humps you!*" I knew any relationship we might have had was over.
side note. good thing you didn't come to drunk breakfast. we were judged by children.
we bought a duck. we're keeping him in our dorm room. don't ever try to tell me you've had a better freshman year than me.
i feel like pizza bites are my only friend right now
Do you want the something i can tell my mom in ten year version or the you're gonna call me a whore but be proud version?
Found her. Shes unconscious up against the room door. Her credit card is in the keycard slot
Just bought a waterproof mattress cover. Bring it on sophomore year.
Do you remember our dinosaur noises from last night ? Breaaaahhhhhppp
Might I also add after my boss threw up in the garbage can and yelled puking rally, he dougied, then told me I wasn't about that life.
Eating chips and sending nudes. This is my life.
Is it possible to hurt your vagina working out, because I think my Dumbass accomplished that... 😯😟😒😓
Do I even want to know?
I didn't want to shower, so I shaved my legs in the pool . That drunk .
Side piece definitely knows about my GF. Said it was sexy when I go commando, then left me pantsless in the club bathroom
Randomize
