But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
Omg. The strippers are having a batman vs spiderman showdown. Both on stage. Genius.
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
He just asked if I would make his black snake moan. Dating basketball players is not worth the glory
blah blah blah they called me an alcoholic because I threw my beer at a Jesus freak. it was for the best
Convinced lucas all the eggs in the fridge are fertilized and now he's crying.
Please delete that video of me blowing you. I will repay you with 100 blowjobs even better than the one I gave you during that video. Please. I am gonna be a grandma one day.
bad news.. campus security walked me home last night and when i tried to tell them where i lived they assured me they knew where our house was.
You said you'd make me a thank you card for taking care of your drunk ass. I'll be expecting that monday.
It's a 'fuck poison control' kind of night.
I got really adventurous too. Like. Balls in the mouth adventurous.
My girlfriend is so strong now. Like on the one hand its kind of hot because she can pin me down during sex, but on the other hand she picked me up and carried me bridal style at the company bbq.
For future reference, when he drunkenly screams "YOUR MOTHER SUCKS COCKS IN HELL," he means that he's about to throw up. Invest in a bucket.
I'm SO high. And there is so much pudding in this car
Randomize
