that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
you could play connect the dots with the people ive fucked in this room
just joined the mile high club. if this plane crashes because of this text, it was worth.
Fine then. I'll just do all this coke on my own this weekend and die. It'll be strictly your fault.
I WILL MAKE A FLYING LEAP FOR YOUR DICK WHEN I SEE YOU THROUGH THE WINDOW
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
You screamed "I NEED TO GET THE WHOLE SET!" and then proceeded to try touching everyone's balls in the room
Wait. Wine + Crossbow..?
I just gave her a sobriety test in the middle of the baking aisle.
And the results, officer?
She's fucked.
Don't act like you're not jealous that I disappeared into the closet to blow my husband. Marriage = all the cock I want.
I dont know how I should feel about you making a 37 year old come visit you and then making him do the walk of shame from your dorm room...through campus
Please let me buy the coffee, all my assets are in starbucks gift cards
I woke up to some strange woman rubbing peanut butter on my thighs
I woke up this morning next to my computer with Google search results for "how to put out a fire."
I'm very scared to turn around.
We got really excited for country fried steak then we had sex.
Randomize
