We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
the trash is collected at 5:50 on mondays. i was up puking all night and heard them
And next time, don't pick a fight with me when you're naked. That's just not fair
We can smell you smoking weed from downstairs and your little brother is asking why the upstairs smells like gasoline. Please smoke in the basement. XOXO dad.
i'm ready for this baby to gtfo so i can get coked out.
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
Reading in my econ of energy textbook about the US' largest oil spill from the 1990's.. guess i can't sell this one back either
French fry pizza
Are you brilliant or just really high?
Can't it be both?
I need to think of the best way to tell this boy he's not getting his pants back
He said "just hugs" and ran away screaming.
So it may have been laced, sue me.
Im part way to drunk.
I love you man but my hope is that you will not wake me up again by pissing on me
Auto correct isn't even working for how drunk you are
Neighbor is sitting on his porch looking like he made some terrible life decisions and I just want to be like "I drank half of a handle of peach vodka in a shed last night. I understand" but I think they're swingers so his night probs sucked more.
Randomize
