found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
Hi, I just found this phone under my seat at a brewers game and seeing as you're entered in as 'fillllatio' I figured I'd ask you if you know the illiterate ass who owns this phone. Thanks :)
I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
let me put this in terms we both understand. he was the crunchwrap supreme of men--the perfect combo of all things manly, gooey and delicious. and ready for instant enjoyment.
Been at work for four hours and just discovered the chairs in my office double as a napping surface. Most productive thing I've done all day
They gave me a glowstick necklace to wear so they could locate me if I wandered off into the woods
apparently it isn't appropriate to tell a coworker who is eating celery because it's "negative calories" that a blowjob is too
then you said,"Take this damn cabbage!" although it was actually your shirt. i found you in the elevator of his building.
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
remember when I told you about my grandma asking me about my sex scars? Less comfortable than that
If he thinks that that is an acceptable way to ask me out he is out his goddamn ginger mindddddd.
you stole two subs and a drink from jimmy johns and walked out yelling "get at me bitches"
Basically taped my dick down because it's too obvious in this costume...
It's accurate though. I am legitimately passionate about pickles. I crave pickles the same way I crave sex. It is a deep rooted animalistic need
the worst part about living alone is not having other peoples snacks to mooch off of when you havent gone grocery shopping in three weeks. i'm so pms-y i'm about to eat a soy sauce packet
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