look to my right... shes dancing like she's playing dance dance revolution and her character is a retarded, drunken moose
Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
Fuck buddy has no power. Invited her over to use my shower. I love hurricaines.
What's the protocol when you drive the girl's head into the wall during sex and she starts to cry?
Spent the entire ride home from downtown trying to convince designated dawgs to drop us off at waffle house instead of our apartment. i told them it was my house...they didn't buy it.
Trying to grind with crutches was not a success
Just used the leftover candycorn for candycorn vodka. Our house is trying to continue the Halloween spirit for as long as possible.
Two words that describe last night: naked and backflips.
That's like the cock version of a mortal kombat fatality.
Really because I got kicked out the eagles game for running up n down the steps singing ' fly eagles fly ' then punched a Dallas fan in the face before the game even started..
No offense, I mean I'm sure you rocked my world and all but I don't remember.
But it's ok cause then I turned my tequila blanket into a tequila comforter and I felt no pain
Today's goal is to get out of bed, before I take a shit. This might be hard
Pass or fail tho
I know this is super early in advance but can I borrow your horse mask on 4/20
Asking for a friend: is it frowned upon to eat pizza while you materbate or does it just mean you are fantastic at multitasking?
Randomize
