i'm 85% sure that if you don't visit me i will do something awkward and potentially dangerous to you in your sleep involving chocolate milk and a sham-wow.
Our local strip club now has karaoke. Do you realize what this could mean for my sex life?
God damn. I'm really starting to resent babies. They're everywhere. Like fucking land mines.
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
They drank shots out of my cleavage. Surprisingly, the one who did the best was a gay guy.
I've said it before and I'll say it again: your tits are a danger to gay men everywhere.
I dont think that yelling at the medic "Christmas is gone, fuck off santa" was the best idea when you couldnt feel your legs.
Weirdest sensation ever: having your penis fall asleep. It was like tiny hulk hogan was choking it out
This body was not built to go to the gym. It was built to chain smoke cigarettes and shoot whiskey
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
usual friday morning routine. the pants i wore last night are in my passenger seat and im rooting through the pockets trying to make exact change at the dunkin donuts drive thru
I shaved last nite, you should see my cock it looks like a beautiful skyscraper
Boobs have been pretty central in my life somehow lately which makes me question if I am truly gay
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
I'm glad you found someone that both loves you and is cool doing coke off your tits. Proud of you.
I should have known when she said it would be "fun" we'd end up in the hospital
Randomize
