I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
his cum tasted like old pizza and looked like old milk
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
I hope we all get so wasted that we ride the cows again
Can we promise no matter what that we have sex the night the Mayan calendar runs out?
So on a scale of 1 to Friendship-Over, how mad would you be if a rando I brought home sharted on the shag carpet in the living room?
I am the sex elephant in the room. Again.
Went kayaking. drunk. DID NOT FALL IN. Mission succesful.
Captain and coke. And it's not drinking alone cuz i have a dog
Remind me to NEVER AGAIN mix beer with tequila with beer with whiskey with vodka with rum with vodka.
Not my fault people bought me shots. waving a shot in my face is like waving a cock in yours
I cant believe you bit her ass cheek, she must have been really weirded out.
yeah so we made out to make it less awkward
The guy in the cage next to me is having phone sex. His girlfriend is in College Library. Why is my life ridiculous.
You know its awkward when your mom walks in on you and your boyfriend yelling surprise....I was scared into an orgasm
we went to the skate park then back to her house for dinner, and somehow that ended with her making me blueberry pancakes at 2am
Randomize
