I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
just woke up to a 10 min voicemail of you singing "99 red ballons".... you need to work on your german..
i woke up completely naked except for a bottle of beer saran wrapped in between my boobs
Do something fun then. Blow up the house or whatever.
How have you survived this long?
Dumb luck and a deal with the devil.
I just bid on a $9000 car because I think its my ex-girlfriends. Yes I wanna hit that again.
It's all coming back to me. I drank moonshine from a milk carton from a guy named tomohawk last night.
I actively tried geting in the guy's pants and ended up in the girl's. I'm bad at this whole straight while drunk thing.
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
I'm two guys short from fucking the whole baseball team and one is gay. I will be successful by the end of this month.
If I end up in a healthy relationship because of this, I will NEVER forgive you!!!
You should make us a hot pocket to split while I go throw up.
Just saw the ex while I was at CVS at 3am buying Depends for my heavy flow
Please don't call my dad a fuckpuppet, I feel like that would be awkward to explain later.
OH MY GOD REMEMBER ALL THAT I LOVE NEW YORK I DVRED BECAUSE I JUST DID
Randomize
