Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
I just projectile vomited in a Methodist church parking lot. If Jesus didn't love me before he sure as hell doesn't now.
Chipotle...archenemy of the gay man. Cockblocking me since 1997
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
just got booed by the entire restaurant.
The polaroid of me taking a test-tube of Jegar out of the gay guys mouth pretty much explains my trip to Spain.
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
Well on the plus side I have started adding benefiber to my bottle of wine
So good news, aparently I blacked out and tried to go in the back of the mcdonalds to thank the people for makin my fries
Someone brought brownies to work and I was skeptical to eat one then I remembered I was at work and there is no way there is weed in them. Haha I'm blaming you for that.
Like did I tell you about the ex Amish guy? Because that was a mess
Me and you. The most fucked up people on the planet drinking together. Hell yeah
As a paramedic, it's completely unacceptable to black out on a monday. I cant handle 3 dollar shot night.
You know that episode of Spongebob where Patrick teaches Spongebob to be fancy? His dick was like that, only fancier.
I'm not gonna lie. I need sex like plants need water right now. I just need the dick.
Randomize
