first missing my period. then crying at the clinic... but why?
we had sex 3 months ago. you missed your period 2 weeks ago. but nice try.
Just took a closer look at the paper that kid wrote me his number on. It was an ATM receipt. His balance is $17.89. i made the right choice.
my mom just texted me to let me know that Hooters is hiring
i wish my mom had big dreams like that for me
Her best friend sent her a random hate text and the song they played at her father's funeral came on the radio. I just got cock blocked by the universe
I never had a problem I couldn't slut my way out of.
Did I hear correctly when it sounded like he said "just don't let me throw up into your vaj?"
And we should impose a 'friends don't let friends order 25 shots at last call' rule
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
i just sat down and hooked up with this girl. after she left i called over another girl and did the same. this happened about four more times and i never left my chair
so you told her it was a 'nam scar? i mean, how old does she think you are.
And now we should drink to that moment where you realize you didn't exactly think things through.
She failed the Charleston discretion test, although puking in her armpit was very innovative.
Note to self:A blacklight toga party at a frat house is a bad idea. Some things cannot be unseen
I am sure I don't wanna know but I have to ask... Why is there a kiddie pool full of jello in the living room?
It wasn't as awesome as they lead everyone to believe. No stripper. Ran out of booze. The chipmunk. He was real.
Randomize
