Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
His pubic hair was longer than his dick
The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
all I know is I'm really rwfly really really stoned and a bunch of Korean people are yelling at me
Went home drunk last night and peed on my Christmas tree, my mothers going to fucking kill me
I don't know whether to call the hospital or call the prison first.
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
When she asked why I felt bad I said that it may have had something to do with the gin and cold pizza I had for breakfast.... And then I reflected on what my life has become.
I spy something regrettable...
Oh my god. Stop!! It was one time and I still can't believe it.
Didn't have the heart to tell him that while he was eating my ass I was laughing, not moaning, into the pillow
Well I'm sorry I assumed you were a human and that humans have the capability to forget sometimes.
I just walked across town, stoned off my ass and barefoot in 35 degree weather for him to bust five mins in and then apologize 13 times as I got dressed.
I need to hurry up and get over my feelings for him so next year's tipsy reunion sex won't be clouded by emotions.
Somebody broke the sliding door, and someone ripped the toilet seat off the toilet. So yeah, pretty typical friday night
I went to a swingers party and came home with a boyfriend. I love my life.
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