Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
you should have heard her the other night. no sentence related to one preceding it. it was like she was in etch a sketch and when she moved she forgot everythin
I know you don't remember, but the teeth marks on my face say it happened.
Ethically speaking on a scale from 1 to morally wrong, how wrong would it be to give babies ambien? Hypothetically speaking.
I went to grab his drink and my hand grazed his dick. It was magical.
I told her we could be friends and she said the last time i told her that we had sex behind a bar at 4am
he just flipped me off the bed, said "deal with it", and came on me.
You probably don't remember this but last night I bought you a lap dance from a stripper that had nipples that looked like runny eggs....you're welcome.
Making a me burrito to ward off the cold...and the aloneness of my vagina
are you just inviting me because you can't afford an actual stripper?
I used my iced coffee to ice the bump on my head from last night
Don't be upset because I bitch slapped you with intelligence
I passed up getting laid last night. It's almost been a YEAR - what the Hell was I thinking, being so choosy??
Wanna go get tea? Warning: I will be high in an hour.
You walked into the frat house and screamed "whose down to fuck" i think they were more intimidated than anything
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