She was like a white Oprah, but with less conviction.
So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
Today should be called shooting fish in a barrel day. Every place ive gone to ive met a girl who regrets not hooking up last night. There have not been girls this easy since Fathers Day
dont touch anything in my room. If its phallus shaped, i can almost guarantee its been in my vagina.
i dodnt think we hooked up bcause he actually texted me the next day
how do you say happy birthday to the guy that almost got you pregnant? i cant just write the same thing as last year.
Next time when I try to seductively eat onion rings while drunk remind me of tonight.
Bad idea to be in a car concussed. I just described his dick as an elevator. I think i meant escalator, i dont know
The only difference is Iv never super glued straws to your nipples.
He complimented the perfect handprints you left on each of my ass cheeks.Thanks.
I'd say "I think I gave my TA chlamydia" is an accurate way to sum up my life.
He made a deal with his real estate agent called fucking in 50 properties for sale
Just taking a shit and realized the captain planet theme song is stuck in my head.
I want you to remember that you started masturbating in front of a car full of people. That drunk.
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
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