i'm listening to "transmissions" by The Tea Party from like '97 and waxing my legs. fuck i'm awesome in my alone time
Idk if this white stuff in my shower is conditioner or... something else?
I don't know where I am, but I'm drinkin & I like these people
so later when i'm crying over him remind me that he once called his penis "senor weeper"
My drug dealer just made me a sandwich at the local deli. Starting to question his street cred.
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
Crashed the mayor's bday party, no list for some reason. Wore suits. Ludacris was there.
you called your neighbor "slutsauce" then passed out on the stairway. not even sure why, but props to you.
she trying to cartwheel up the stairs... not going so well
My Valentine's Day plans just drastically changed... My F buddy just ran into my gf...in my driveway.
did i really sing to your nipples last night?
yes. and it was oddly very seductive
We joked about how funny it would be if he got pulled over with 300 breakfast burritos in hus car. We walk outside of the school just as the police lights turn on and pull him over
We might as well just set our livers out to sea on burning ships
fuck off. It's 10am and I'm drink gin and ginger ale through a twizzler straw. My life is marvellous
I ate so much cake that I can't even enjoy a blowjob
That's the most first world problem I've ever heard in my life.
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