We walk out of his house and his dad is there, so I had to meet him and shake his hand pretending that same hand hadn't been down his son's pants five minutes earlier
i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
he sat in the bathtub shirtless yelling in gibberish for 40 minutes. funniest. stoner. ever.
Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
I'm at the casino and some dude apparently has money in an entire row of slot machines. Its like watching a really intense adult version of wack a mole
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
Houston, we have a problem
where are u?
Houston. That's the problem. I don't know how I got here.
And I'm PMSing. So if I'm not crying, I'm masturbating.
The camera shows a viking with a white mask, a creepy green guy, a gorilla, and a pumpkin throwing eggs and laundry detergent in his yard
OHHH and there was a Batman too.
8:30 every morning in the third floor bathroom we fuck in the handicap stall. You have your morning workout and I have mine.
Omg having my Grindr go off at the planned parenthood is just not okay
That's right. I just LL Cool J'ed you up in this bitch. Zero fucks.
When we started the night I was in zebra wedges & she was in my black boots... I woke up wearing pink flip flops & the mirror on my rental is fuxked up. Wtf happened last night?
someone found a bottle of whiskey in the bushes this morning when they were cleaning before an admissions event. i'm 95% sure it's mine..
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