So I walked out of my room and there was my brother....standing naked
what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
You stole her cigarette screaming that you were going to stop the air cancer from getting everyone.
at least i was looking out for everybody
yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
I have 250 contacts there has to be someone sober to take me to taco bell
his profile picture is him throwing up "#1" hands after his lax championship next to his coach that i fucked....embarrasing for him, yet ironically beautiful for me.
Just found a bag of weed nailed to the door that my dealer dropped off since I wasn't home. God I love Boulder.
Man, only now that I'm single is it painfully obvious that I have zero booty calls in waiting. This could be a cold winter
I can't wet the bed. That was the old me. I'm grown
Oh my god
We got signed out of jail by an Uber driver. I think that qualifies as a great first night of college
I need thought I would ever have to use the phrase "Don't fart on that Calzone".. Thanks for that
We banged in my car doggy style with my head out the window. The sky was marvelous and I saw a shooting star. Its destiny; we're meant to fuck forever.
I did a line of coke with my ex tonight. Talk about memories
Will u lay on an air mattress with me and drink vodka while we listen to Rick James?
Randomize
