whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
Glad I put on jeans. You could measure my ass sweat with a rain guage.
Just fucked a hooker at a motel in New Jersey. Two states down, 48 to go.
Hey I have to teach you how to run in heels before vegas
hey..i found a takeout box with a half-eaten hamburger in it, the box said to text this number if found...
he picked an earring up off the bar floor and tried to give it to girls as a present.
It's like a puppy that we have to take care of at all times or else she'll get sad, lonely, and chew on the furniture. And by 'chew on the furniture', I mean have anonymous sex.
Whenever there is a ShotSki involved, I have no excuse but to drink, right? It's like a rule.
you ate the make a wish sign. Like actually chewed on it. It was our solution to going outside when the cops were there
Dick sucking on arrival? or would you like to cash that in later?
I don't care how hot she is, her cat has pissed on me twice.
He said my vagina is harder to escape than the Temple of Doom.
WHY DID YOU INVITE ALEX?!?
Because she offered to bring a keg.
And also because you fucked her in an alley last week and I'm trying to be a good friend.
Full body rubs, head scratches, foot rubs, massages, a penis that is able to get hard whenever you want it. I mean ive got a lot to offer
He's a college graduate, has an excellent job, and respects his family. To say nothing of his 8.5 inch cock. His narcolepsy not withstanding...I'm marrying this motherfucker.
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