I pooped in a mop bucket.
WTF???
Their employee restroom was locked what kind of customer service is that
I swear to god he was trying to crawl under my door last night muttering "I'm Alex Mac! I'm Alex Mac!"
It was worth having to clean the cum stains out of the carpet.
He noticed there was ketchup on his shirt and took it off. Noticed there were people there and put it back on. Then he saw the ketchup again. He must have taken his shirt on and off about 6 times
his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
Its like they don't get that I only talk to them before homecoming, thanksgiving, or any other time I go home. I love highschool girls.
...And then you kept screaming "cock mouth" in her face every time she tried to talk.
Valuable lesson learned: if you reach the point where you have to talk yourself in to finishing the last half of your beer, you shouldn't try.
Either I'm tripping balls or my dog has super powers.
I honestly think she should have her own reality show called "Lowering the Bar" and it consists of a camera crew following her from Bar to bar hooking up with unsuspecting drunk attractive men.
He licked my mouth. I felt like I was making out with my dog.
I've had more sex since the twins moved in than I'd had in the previous four years. They are the best wingman ever.
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
You showed up at my house at 4am with a bloody nose, one shoe and a bucket of chicken... I live no where near a place that sells chicken in a bucket..
Well that would explain the bones in my purse.
I had mediocre parking lot sex last night so the night wasn't a complete bust.
Randomize
