im in a room full of women tattooing each others tits. i hope i remember this tomorrow
so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
The pickup line "You look exactly like my sister" would only work in Arkansas...SCORE!!
the last thing i remember is you screaming lets hunt humans.
You coming out tonight? We gotta hang out before I move to Madison. BTW I'm moving to Madison.
He came in looking for condoms, iced coffee, and a gas tank. I need to be where he's going.
I guess on the plus side everyone really, really enjoyed my nipple clamps
Why are there maracas in the dishwasher?
Going out so taking the 2nd 1/2 of beer w/ me ont'tube in a Pringles tube. I give money to people on the street that have more self respect.
You gave your boss a bj to get the safe employee of the month award?
If I had your job the next day id be on the news. And not the good news. Like fox & friends. Nancy grace would have my ass.
should we try and roll a cross joint since its good friday? you know, for jesus
The bottle brush for the bong worked really well to clean the brownies out of the waffle maker.
If you could not mention to him that I slept with his best friend, that'd be cool of you.
I'm like bob the builder except I'm fixing boners.
Randomize
