So he passed out in the bathroom of the bar, woke up thinking he was somewhere else and called her flipping his shit because he thought she left him. She had to go into the men's bathroom to find him, and then he told her she was "trying too hard to be his girlfriend" over and over again.
Dont they live together now? Havent they been together for like two years?
Yeah. That's the best part. I always thought he was kind of a pussy but turns out he's a degenerate just like us. Welcome
had another sex dream about alec baldwin...
The only good thing about trampolines when you're fucked up is the gushing blood really cleans all the bad coke out of your nose.
she was eating donuts out of the garbage. enough said.
I can't believe i facilitated a beer for sweater vest deal last night...
Are you scared? I basically plan on us looking like giant drunk skittles
I woke up this morning with a wristband and I thought I went to the hospital last night I actually went ice skating instead
I'll have my hookups make my March Madness picks. Win my bracket, win my heart. That's how it works right?
The chlamydia really affected his face.
I feel like I was dropped out of a helicopter. Through the propeller.
Talking to her is like watching "Bad Life Choices: The Movie"
we just talked about our morning and what we were doing for the day and he handed me the addies and i took $50 out of my bra in front of a bunch of frat guys. so the mornings going really well
And I must've sleep walked to the fridge cause when I woke up, there I was, balls deep in a fudge pop.
at first i said "no rollerblading if I'm going to be drunk," but we all know how that went
I decided to do drugs in front of her because if anyone can handle the truth it's a ghost
Randomize
