i woke up on my kitchen floor, halfway through a text, and my mascara running... this is why i stopped drinking tequila
Shark Week. Kick off begins Sunday. The drinking game has been upgraded to include jumping/breaching sharks and Jake's not allowed to bring the harpoon. Period.
She left scratches down my back from her wedding ring. Her husband seems like a nice guy though, judging by the scratches it had to be at least a carat.
she had a concussion and she still scored nine points higher than me on the midterm
She told me she was going to ride me so hard i would cum the ghosts of my ancestors...its gonna be a good time
You should know that Team Beyonce's Vagina dominated in pong last night
she broke my one feeling. seriously I think she broke my dick.
Um please remind me to tell you what happened tonight. It involves wine, pain killers and firing a handgun in our apartment. Legit might be hiding from the cops this weekend.
I send him pictures of my tits whenever I feel like he's paying too much attention to his girlfriend.
Was it fun? The night started with home made Jager and ended in him falling out of a tree with a pocket full of house numbers...you tell me.
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
Please tell me you're not home alone watching Glitter.
Can you see in?
T minus 20 hours until we forget our names, find some city cowboys, and g&t into the night.
We had sex to beyonce's "drunk in love" and then he order me pizza. It was perf
My previously white toilet seat is now hot pink. I'm not sure why or how but I know it's your fault.
Randomize
