SOME GIRL ON THE STAIRS IN FRONT OF ME JUST FARTED AND IT WENT STRAIGHT INTO MY MOUTH!
We just used hot candle wax from our joint lighting candle to make a bunch of new small ones how stoned are we
you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
she kicked me out for pissing in the recycling bin. I mean, is it really THAT big of a deal?
i have a strong feeling i fucked one of the waiters here...
i cant cry in cvs. not again.
She just pulled out a chicken strip and a hundred dollar bill from her purse. This is a legit twentyfirst bday weekend.
I love you. We're gonna celebrate your 21st by putting people in duct tape bikinis and pushing them down tequila slip and slides
just shotgunning some tallboys in the cooler, you?
HOW DO YOU GET RAISES EVERY TWO WEEKS?!
I was orgasming and dying of laughter at the same time. I think I've found the One.
It's nice out. . But after I almost put a bag of chips in the microwave to make nachos. ..I figured it best to not venture too far from the couch
He was dressed as the 420 Easter bunny...he looked like a walking anti-drug campaign.
As much of a hooker as I am you don't slam where you drink
I may have taken the entire adderall. I FEEL LIKE THE FUCKIN HULK. I can't stop cleaning and organizing and doing the clean things
immediately after sex he started talking to me about nerdy stuff he meant to text me earlier, I'm completely smitten
Randomize
