I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
If I was doing exactly what I wanted right now I would be getting fucked on a jet ski while listening to "When Love Takes Over" by Kelly Rowland while eating french fries.
Her face was so far in my boobs, I didn't think she'd make it out. She took it like a man. She's a real trooper.
he made a bald eagle out of coke lines
He paid me to blow him while doing a handstand. Does that make me a whore or just a budding gymnast?
Passing out is just my bodies way of protecting my liver.
Will the fact that I have 4 boob hickies add to or take away from tonight's outfit?
I wish your snatch was here
If my snatch could sprout wings I'd fly to you
Next time we smoke don't let me talk. I just said something and it sounded like I was speaking in hashtag.
Dude. Cvs sells sex toys. And my discount works on them. Game on.
Would it be rude to use my vibrator? like he forfeited his right to be mad when he left me orgasmless...right?
Do you want me to add this to the list of actions I will state at your intervention
I'm really glad I had vomit on my sweater when I met his sister.
I woke up and finished the bottle like a champ
1. Everyone on the 1st and 3rd floor heard you. 2. The 3rd floor vibrates when we have sex. 3. The 1st floor can hear the bed squeak.
Randomize
