Flirting with the rich sleazy owner of the club: 1 way ticket to free sushi, drinks, and VIP passes. FUck! im better with older men than i am with babies and dogs
Sex on a trampoline was so worth getting a mosquito bite on my penis
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but my underwear and it was on backwards and my entire body is too sore to move...
Im glad someone is finally more of a drunken slut than I am.
I don't think he realizes it but he was stroking the faucet while he was talking to me.
Forgot to mention...Pamela Anderson has HPV, so i feel like im in good company
I want to apologize but I don't know how. Do I just say "sorry for OD'ing on your couch"? I think that just sounds weird.
welp wont be popping out a kid with a beret. frenchie is gone and the mother nature showed herself. bilingual kid can be erased from the bucket list
You're in the clear; you and Andrew did not joint fingerbang that girl on the dance floor last night.
I was woke up by the fucking Star Spangled Banner this morning. I sat up in bed and put my hand over my naked heart. I was so confused
he brought with him gifts of cookie dough and penis. upgrading our relationship from fwb's to bf/gf was an incredibly smart merger.
I'm sorry you're hurting. Would a picture or my erect penis help?
I want to start a guest book for my bed room so when dudes leave they can write a review
i just woke up on the desk in his dorm with him snoring in my vagina. better than last week waking up to a different guy puking on my bare ass i guess.
A dozen naked frat boys in squirrel masks just ran by. Welcome to the official start of the holidays.
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