I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
I don't know what your problem is but seriously you're a cunt for throwing up that song on your page. It's rude as fuck
omg its myspace i didnt think anyone took that seriously anymore
i woke up with toilet paper straight tucked up in my underwear wearing a pizza sauce mustach. I dont think i got laid last night.
She thinks she's a fairy, dude. A real fucking fairy with wings and shit.
I shouldn't be home alone with this much peanut butter and the dog. I feel like i'm being recorded to see when my desperation will peak.
You would be my first round pick for a drinking team
So much easier to puke and rally now that my gluten's under control
we are the apple cider girls!
I like the fact that you've for some reason taken my penis into protective custody
That's a lot of judgement coming from a man wearing a dress made from a bedsheet.
I just traded a couple nudes for pizza delivery. Call me lazy, easy, or an entrepreneur, but either way I'll have dominoes in 15 minutes.
I've seen you go skiing on a Tuesday, but you think you're too good for TGI Friday's?
I have jizz, in my hair. I'm sitting in class with jizz. In. My. Hair. I need to make better life choices.
I lost my wallet so I paid for my cab ride home with a sausage sandwich I found in my purse. Must have thought it was my wallet.
Whose house did we sneak into and play beer pong for 4 hours at last night?
I honestly have no idea
first he passed out on the toilet...then hugged it and screamed no no no as i tried to pull him out
Randomize
