i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
Listen, I'm 30. If it doesnt involve a super soaker and some chicken wings, you can count me out.
Completly hung over at midnight, I knew there was a downside to drinking at 2pm
just to let you know coffee and vodka was a bad way to start the day
My ATM looks so different sober.
She is ok w me having sex for money. Just gotta find rich grandmas.
You are softly singing to the wall while slow dancing with it. I feel as though you should discontinue this behavior.
And after getting thrown out of the frat house, getting carried up the hill for a half an hour, puking 5 times, and almost getting stopped by campus security, she still insisted he sleep with her. Gotta give her credit, even blacked she kept her eyes on the prize
I love that my idea of a romantic gesture to you is to send you a picture of my vomit saying "wish you were here". You voluntarily dated me. For six years ish.
he may or may not have motorboated me on the steps of the library of congress
Saying someone's good at giving head is like saying someone is good at pouring juice like there is that one girl who will spill it everywhere but for the most part it's not that hard to be good at
sexting while watching Peter Pan the Musical! something just doesn't seem right here
I was thinking about the biological process causing me to puke while I was puking. THAT'S how much I'd been studying.
I couldn't break up with him while I was wearing a Hakuna Matata shirt.
Why is there bacon in the couch?
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