OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
If he comes back to you and I'm left alone in lonelytown I'm totally going to poo on your car.
this boner is exhausting
I think i accidentally made vodka pancakes
So befoe we go on this mission how reliable are you for bailing peope out of jail
Just stabbed myself in the face trying to lick melted cheese off a kitchen knife.
A valiant attempt to obtain a backhoe was made
I wanted to be mature but the vodka was resilient.
Wait, just ask him if can you can join in. You haven't lived until you've taken part in a threesome with your father...or so I've heard
Don't drink and shop. I went for happy hour and came home with a fog machine. I now have no other choice but to scare the shit out of my neighbors with it.
CURSE YOU AND YOUR SEXY LOGIC
then you dropped a clam in a draught beer like it was a drop shot and and started chugging as beer spewed all over your body.
One door closes, one man cooks for you through the next open door
I love standing in line at rite aid for 10 minutes being forced to talk to my ex's mom about life while I'm holding nothing but yeast infection cream
So I wake up to my ex girlfriends underwear hanging from the ceiling fan and the only thing i can think of is "what time is the game"
Randomize
