I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
I would drag my balls through a mile of broken glass to eat pudding out of her anus
I jacked off with the cucumber and then made that fatass a salad.
The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
You even been so high breaking up weed with your fingers feels like surgery?
I am NOT getting arrested in a batman mask
her parents were awake and in the next room. i think i deserve a big fucking medal for that orgasm.
There's a pair of socks on the bar. No-one's questioned this.
yeah, but the likliness of me finding my husband at a party where the facebook event is titled "NEW YEARS EVE SHIT SHOW" is highly unlikely
how many past hook-ups can i invite to go bar hopping with me for my b-day before it becomes a bad idea?
I created a new solo drinking game. You need a handle, a laptop, and a shitty internet connection. Start watching the fort video in the que, play the snake while the videos constantly load, and take a drink everytime you fuck up. There was a video of a an asain female Justin beiber impersonator full screen when I woke up.
That would warm my breasts.
In this context breast is a metaphor for soul.
you were like "guys ... i think i got fingered while dancing tonight"
our poor poor cab driver
It was great. They teamed up to hit on these two frat boys all night, until the frat boys started making out with each other. The looks on their faces...
I banged a marine last night. No wonder everybody respects them.
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